The Continent Page

Today, our continental plate has once again moved an immeasurable fraction more than any other! At this pace, even the Eurasian land mass stands little chance of outdoing us. With the North American Plate drifting across a quickly flowing area in the Earth’s molten mantle, we’re going to keep on moving at this unstoppable pace for another 76.897 million years!!! However, the small but speedy Cocos Plate promises to show improvement in the near future, a mere 2.137 million years. We can only hope that our home land mass continues to so easily leave behind its competitors. We, the loyal fans, need to root for our continent as it races towards the next round. We’ve argued for several centuries, but it now seems that the finish line to this race is more clearly defined. Some people think the winner crosses the place where the Mid-Atlantic ridge is now, but after much speculation it can’t really be said for sure. For now, the nearest competition is all but left in the lava.
Though hardly a threat now, Antarctica in times past was a nearly legendary continent. It moved from the equator to the icy area where it now resides in record time. It seems, however, that this once formidable adversary has fallen under new management and has consistently been one of the worst continents for the last 176.054 million years. Needless to say, Antarctica has lost all of its fans.
Fans from the Pacific plate constantly say that the North American landmass is doomed to share the same fate after enjoying such unbroken success. The Western Californians agree and sneer at us irreverently from across the San Andreas Fault. Can our continent continue its race to glory even with our opponents doing every conceivable thing to stop us? Will sluggish Australia be eliminated from the planet? Has the Indian subcontinent made the right move in its merger with the Eurasian plate? Only time will tell.

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