Xanga Administrators and Other Intrusions

The Xanga Content Administration Board has carefully reviewed the content of your page and found the quality of its content to be well below acceptable quality standards. Your decidedly dull entries are riddled with horrific grammar and stale abbreviations. We, the committee of peers demand that you add some redeeming qualities to your blog. If you fail in meeting the prescribed measures, we will have to ask you to step down and remove your xanga site.

Thank you,

The Xanga Content Administration Board

Hated_By_You,

The Xanga Content Administration Board has carefully reviewed the content of your site and found three infractions against the new revised user's code.

Firstly, it has been brought to our attention that you maintain a page with a class 9 disruptiveness index. You have rendered the content all but unreadable through your negligence of Xanga law. Since near illegibility removes any point for your page’s existence, this alone has merited an indictment.

Secondly, you have been rated as a seven on the Shameless Self-Indulgent Exhibitionism scale. That is, you spend at least seventy percent of the your entries screaming to all the world about your deep set dissatisfaction and rebellion against a comfortable middle class life filled with numerous future prospects.

Thirdly, you have rated as a 6 on the banality index.

We have carefully considered your situation and decided that the best remedy in your case is to become a conformist. Society functions because we all make sacrifices and follow a number of time-honored rules. You must adhere to the set standards or we will have to ask you to remove your page.

Good luck and thank you!

-The Xanga Content Administration Board

Your Yankee games are quite vulgar and mean if I may say so, hardly deserving of being known as sports. Have you no appreciation for cricket, rugby, polo, the games of a real gentleman? Bah! I waste my breath on a dimwitted cad such as yourself.

Cordially,

Colonel Worthley

Lonely_Hippie_Soul,

The Xanga Content Administration Board has carefully reviewed the content of your site and found your consistent emphasis on defiance and individuality most disturbing. Everyone must work together to keep the wonderful multiverse of blogs clean and functioning for all users. If we see any further signs of disturbance and dissent, we will have to take further measures and initiate the process of indictment. If we are forced to progress, we will have to ask you to remove your page for the common good. Please revise your content so that it conforms to the proper standards that have been clearly laid out by the new revised Xanga user guidelines.

Thank you for you cooperation,

-The Xanga Content Administration Board

You seem like a typical young lady, playing around with your toys and baubles and attending the parties of your quaint little friends, but surely you should begin thinking about your induction into higher society. I have known many a virtuous and dainty lady who ate lightly to fit into the tightest corsets, but abstaining from all substantial foods is a right shame. Keep up like that, young madam, and you will be wan and wasted away by the time you’re sent to look for a suitable husband. Furthermore, acting in such a strange fashion on behalf of the lives of animals demonstrates a rather excessive capriciousness. One understands that a young woman is given to whimsical passions, but starving yourself on behalf of witless beasts is truly outrageous. One could as well start having honourable funerals for flies and gnats. You are in need of discipline young madam. You reject all the good food set before you in your humble household as though you were a princess and treat all who eat that which you turned away as pitiable peons. Pure and bloody balderdash! Your good father ought to turn you over his knee!

-Colonel Worthley

How can you call yourself a man self-indulgently bathing yourself in the copious cascade of your self-pitying? Stand straight and proud, man! You hardly prepare yourself for the trials and tribulations of this world in your moaning and morose excess. And young man, I must say I fear for your soul. Some old book indeed! The bible contains the very words of God given unto civilized human beings. If you cannot even return the love of your creator, you may as well go native and live in some blasted jungle with no more a dwelling than a fly infested dung hut.

Sincerely,

Colonel Worthley

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