Zoroastrianism and the Art of Port-A-Potty Maintenance

An Inquiry into Heresy

It is a beautiful morning at the campground and the air is cool and moist. A brief drizzle before dawn has chilled the hard-packed ground. Even in the summer, cold weather comes frequently in these mountains. In spite of this, the skies have already cleared up and it promises to be a pleasantly warm day. I have risen bright and early to drive up here and do my job. I have always had a spiritual connection with port-a-potties, though they are repulsive to most people. It is not the reek of human excrement that draws me to port-a-potty maintenance, but the process of cleaning these widely abhorred receptacles of waste. I have found that attitudes towards port-a-potties can generally be divided into two categories, disgust and indifference.

Mylukis found that one can also regard port-a-potties with respect. He was disdained by ignorant people who would not tolerate any changes to their existing views. He was fired from Mitchell Sanitation Company. They tried to take away his work because he decoded the ways of human thought through the means of port-a-potty maintenance. He was lobotomized…

Strange, his memories are slowly seeping through into my consciousness. The hands I see before me now once belonged to Mylukis. He was enlightened, and then punished for his great vision.

I meet Steve, who has just arrived at the first port-a-potty with an armload of equipment. He busily assembles the means to drain human waste from the black pit, and yet scarcely puts any thought into it. He prefers not to think about it. Why, I ask myself would Steve want to limit his consciousness. It is foolishness to shut out experience under any circumstance. Steve looks at me disdainfully and says “Would you mind giving me a hand here?” It is no use starting an argument. He will not understand. I take a small screwdriver from my tool belt and help Steve attach the auxiliary drainage hose to main vacuum pump. As Steve finishes the last screw I see that his movements are indifferent and bored. I will tolerate him for now. Anything I say will just make him more sullen. I watch his movements carefully to…

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